abuse me as unfair and say they’ll sue. Well, let them go to court. I just don’t care, not if Pheidippides has learned to argue. I’ll find out soon enough. Let's knock here, at the thinking school.

Boy . . . Hey, boy . . . boy!

Hello there, Strepsiades.

Hello to you. First of all, you must accept this present.

It’s proper for a man show respect to his son’s teacher in some way. Tell me— has the boy learned that style of argument you brought out here just now?

Yes, he has.

In the name of Fraud, queen of everything, that’s splendid news!

You can defend yourself in any suit you like—and win.

I can? Even if there were witnesses around

when I took out the loan?

The more the better— even if they number in the thousands.

Then I will roar aloud a mighty shout— Ah ha, weep now you petty money men, wail for yourselves, wail for your principal, wail for your compound interest. No more will you afflict me with your evil ways. On my behalf there’s growing in these halls a son who’s got a gleaming two-edged tongue—

he’s my protector, saviour of my home,

a menace to my foes. He will remove the mighty tribulations of his sire. Run off inside and summon him to me.

My son, my boy, now issue from the house— and hearken to your father’s words.

Here’s your young man.

Ah, my dear, dear boy.

Take him and go away.

Ah ha, my lad— what joy. What sheer delight for me to gaze,

first, upon your colourless complexion, to see how right away you’re well prepared

to deny and contradict—with that look which indicates our national character so clearly planted on your countenance— the look which says, “What do you mean?”—the look which makes you seem a victim, even though you’re the one at fault, the criminal. I know that Attic stare stamped on your face. Now you must rescue me—since you’re the one who’s done me in.

What are you scared about?

The day of the Old Moon and the New.

You mean there’s a day that’s old and new?

The day they say they’ll make deposits to charge me in the courts!

Then those who do that will lose their cash. There’s simply no way one day can be two days.

It can’t?

How? Unless it’s possible a single woman can at the same time be both old and young.

Yet that seems to be what our laws dictate.

In my view they just don’t know the law— not what it really means.

What does it mean?

Old Solon by his nature loved the people.

But that’s got no bearing on the Old Day— or the New.

Well, Solon set up two days

for summonses—the Old Day and the New, so deposits could be made with the New Moon.

Then why did he include Old Day as well?

So the defendants, my dear fellow, could show up one day early, to settle by mutual agreement, and, if not, they should be very worried the next day

was the start of a New Moon.

In that case, why do judges not accept deposits once the New Moon comes but only on the day between the Old and New?

It seems to me they have to act like those who check the food—

they want to grab as fast as possible at those deposits, so they can nibble them a day ahead of time.

That’s wonderful!

You helpless fools! Why do you sit there—

so idiotically, for us wise types to take advantage of? Are you just stones, ciphers, merely sheep or stacked-up pots? This calls for a song to me and my son here, to celebrate good luck and victory.

O Strepsiades is truly blessed for cleverness the very best, what a brainy son he’s raised. So friends and townsfolk sing his praise. Each time you win they’ll envy me—

you’ll plead my case to victory. So let’s go in—I want to treat, and first give you something to eat.

Should a man just throw away his money? Never! But it would have been much better, back then at the start, to forget the loan and the embarrassment than go through this— to drag you as a witness here today in this matter of my money. I’ll make this man from my own deme my enemy.

But I’ll not let my country down—never—

not as long as I’m alive. And so . . .

I’m summoning Strepsiades . . .

Who is it?

. . . on this Old Day and the New.

I ask you here to witness that he’s called me for two days. What’s the matter?

The loan you got, twelve minai, when you bought that horse—the dapple grey.

A horse? Don’t listen to him. You all know how I hate horses.

What’s more, by Zeus, you swore on all the gods you’d pay me back.

Yes, by god, but Pheidippides back then did not yet know the iron-clad argument on my behalf.

So now, because of that, you’re intending to deny the debt?

If I don’t, what advantage do I gain from everything he’s learned?

Are you prepared to swear you owe me nothing—by the gods— in any place I tell you?

Which gods are those?

By Zeus, by Hermes, by Poseidon.

Yes, indeed, by Zeus—and to take that oath

I would even pay three extra obols.

You’re shameless—may that ruin you some day!

This wine skin here would much better off if you rubbed it down with salt.

Damn you— you’re ridiculing me!

About four gallons, that’s what it should hold.

By mighty Zeus, by all the gods, you’ll not make fun of me and get away with it!

Ah, you and your gods—

that’s so incredibly funny. And Zeus— to swear on him is quite ridiculous

to those who understand.

Some day, I swear, you’re going to have to pay for all of this. Will you or will you not pay me my money? Give me an answer, and I’ll leave.

Calm down— I’ll give you a clear answer right away.

Well, what do you think he’s going to do? Does it strike you he is going to pay?

Where’s the man who’s asking me for money? Tell me—what’s this?

What’s that? A kneading basin.

You’re demanding money when you’re such a fool?

I wouldn’t pay an obol back to anyone

that’s so incredibly funny. And Zeus— to swear on him is quite ridiculous

to those who understand.

Some day, I swear, you’re going to have to pay for all of this. Will you or will you not pay me my money? Give me an answer, and I’ll leave.

Calm down— I’ll give you a clear answer right away.

Well, what do you think he’s going to do? Does it strike you he is going to pay?

Where’s the man who’s asking me for money? Tell me—what’s this?

What’s that? A kneading basin.

You’re demanding money when you’re such a fool?

I wouldn’t pay an obol back to anyone

who wants to call a basinette a basin.

So you won’t repay me?

As far as I know, I won’t. So why don’t you just hurry up and quickly scuttle from my door.

I’m off. Let me tell you—I’ll be making my deposit. If not, may I not live another day!

That’ll be more money thrown away— on top of the twelve minai. I don’t want you going thorough that just because you’re foolish

and talk about a kneading basin.

Oh, it’s bad. Poor me!

Hold on. Who’s this who’s chanting a lament? Is that the cry

of some god perhaps—one from Carcinus?

What’s that? You wish to know who I am? I’m a man with a miserable fate!

Then go off on your own.

“O cruel god, O fortune fracturing my chariot wheels, O Pallas, how you’ve annihilated me!”

How’s Tlepolemos done nasty things to you?

Don’t laugh at me, my man—but tell your son to pay me back the money he received, especially when I’m going through all this pain.

What money are you talking about?

The loan he got from me.

of some god perhaps—one from Carcinus?

What’s that? You wish to know who I am? I’m a man with a miserable fate!

Then go off on your own.

“O cruel god, O fortune fracturing my chariot wheels, O Pallas, how you’ve annihilated me!”

How’s Tlepolemos done nasty things to you?

Don’t laugh at me, my man—but tell your son to pay me back the money he received, especially when I’m going through all this pain.

What money are you talking about?

The loan he got from me.

It seems to me you’re having a bad time.

By god, that’s true— I was driving in my chariot and fell out.

Why then babble on such utter nonsense, as if you’d just fallen off a donkey?

If I want him to pay my money back

am I talking nonsense?

I think it’s clear your mind’s not thinking straight.

Why’s that?

From your behaviour here, it looks to me as if your brain’s been shaken up.

Well, as for you, by Hermes, I’ll be suing you in court, if you don’t pay the money.

Tell me this— do you think Zeus always sends fresh water each time the rain comes down, or does the sun

It seems to me you’re having a bad time.

By god, that’s true— I was driving in my chariot and fell out.

Why then babble on such utter nonsense, as if you’d just fallen off a donkey?

If I want him to pay my money back

am I talking nonsense?

I think it’s clear your mind’s not thinking straight.

Why’s that?

From your behaviour here, it looks to me as if your brain’s been shaken up.

Well, as for you, by Hermes, I’ll be suing you in court, if you don’t pay the money.

Tell me this— do you think Zeus always sends fresh water each time the rain comes down, or does the sun

suck the same water up from down below for when it rains again?

I don’t know which—

and I don’t care.

Then how can it be just for you to get your money reimbursed, when you know nothing of celestial things?

Look, if you haven’t got the money now, at least repay the interest.

This “interest”— What sort of creature is it?

Don’t you know? It’s nothing but the way that money grows, always getting larger day by day month by month, as time goes by.

That’s right. What about the sea? In your opinion,

is it more full of water than before?

No, by Zeus— it’s still the same. If it grew, that would violate all natural order.

In that case then, you miserable rascal, if the sea shows no increase in volume with so many rivers flowing into it, why are you so keen to have your money grow? Now, why not chase yourself away from here?

Bring me the cattle prod!

I have witnesses!

Come on! What you waiting for? Move it,

you pedigree nag!

This is outrageous!

Get a move on—or I’ll shove this prod

all the way up your horse-racing rectum!

You running off? That’s what I meant to do, get the wheels on that chariot of yours really moving fast.

O it’s so nice to worship vice. This old man here adores it so

he will not clear the debts he owes. But there’s no way he will not fall some time today, done in by all his trickeries, he’ll quickly fear depravities he’s started here.

It seems to me he’ll soon will see his clever son put on the show he wanted done so long ago— present a case against what’s true and beat all those he runs into

with sophistry. He’ll want his son (it may well be) to be struck dumb.