who do live off the trade.
Come on then, let’s go. Tell me, should I give her something to eat?
No. She won’t want to eat any bread or cake. She always had the habit of licking up ambrosia with the gods in heaven.
Well, we’ll just have to see if we can find something else for her to lick down here.
This old man, as far as we can see, is now working things out happily.
What will you think when very soon you see me as a bright bridegroom?
An old man to envy I presume.
Once more you’ll have your youthful bloom and lie there drenched in sweet perfume.
I think you’re right. And in a bit when I’m in bed and hold her tit?
Happier than a top-spinning lad who calls that Carcinus his dad.
I deserve it. Is that not true? I, one man, on a beetle flew and saved the Greeks, who free from harm
now sleep and fuck on every farm.
The girl has finished bathing, and her butt looks splendid. There’s a flat cake ready. And the sesame balls are being rolled up. Everything’s prepared. All we need now
is a hard, stiff cock.
Then let’s get going and offer Theoria to the Council.
This girl here? Who is she?
What do you mean? This is Theoria.
What? The girl we used to travel with to Brauron
and then get drunk and screw?
The very same. I had a hard time getting her away.
O master, look at the ass on her— I’d wait four years for that!
Now, let’s see. Is there an honest man among you lot? Where is he? Who’ll take charge of this girl here and guard her for the Council?
Hey you, what are you doing? Drawing a chart?
Me? Oh, I’m reserving a camping spot to house my prick at the Isthmian Games.
Tell me the man who’ll look after her.
Come here. I’m going to take you down there and put you in the middle of them.
Look there— someone’s nodding his head!
Who is it?
Who is it? It’s Ariphrades urging you to take her over to him.
No, he’ll jump her and start slurping in her lap.
Come now, to start with you can take that clothing off.
You council members and public officers, look on this Theoria and witness
the splendid things I bring and give to you. You can quickly raise these two legs of hers high in the air and roast your sacrifice.
Look at the oven she’s got.
Magnificent! Smoky black down here because the Council used to cook their meat in her before the war.
And now she’s yours. At first light tomorrow you can arrange some really splendid games— wrestling on the ground, mounting doggy style, lying her on her side, or on her knees,
bending over, or rubbing on the oil and grappling in a youthful free-for-all, gouging and striking with your fists and prick. Next day you’ll organize equestrian games,
where riders straddle riders, chariots crash on top of one another, and blow and pant as they go at it. Then other riders will be lying there with cocks all scraped from falling out while moving round the turns. So come on, you officials of the state,
accept Theoria.
Look how eagerly that public officer’s receiving her!
That’s a motion you’d never introduce if you weren’t going to get a big pay off. No. I’d have found you reaching for a peace.
A useful man brings the state bliss
And that’s the kind of man this is.
When you go gather in your grape you’ll see I’m in much better shape.
But now it’s clear what you’ve become.
You’ve saved mankind—that’s everyone.
Once you’ve chugged some new-made wine, a goblet full, you’ll say I’m fine.
And we will constantly attest but for the gods you are the best.
I’m Trygaeus from Athmonum. and you owe me a tidy sum. I’ve pushed away harsh misery.
Now farm and working folk are free. I’ve made Hyperbolus succumb.
All right, what do we have to do next?
What else but to install the goddess Peace by offering up some earthen pots?
With pots? Just like a grumpy little Hermes?
What do you think we should offer her? A fattened bull?
An ox? No not that. We don’t need to serve as ox-iliaries.
Then what about a big fat porker?
No, no.
Why not?
Because we might turn into swine, just like Theagenes.
Well what do you think?
What other animal?
What about this, a bummer lamb?
A bummer?
Yes, by god.
But that’s a slang expression.
Now farm and working folk are free. I’ve made Hyperbolus succumb.
All right, what do we have to do next?
What else but to install the goddess Peace by offering up some earthen pots?
With pots? Just like a grumpy little Hermes?
What do you think we should offer her? A fattened bull?
An ox? No not that. We don’t need to serve as ox-iliaries.
Then what about a big fat porker?
No, no.
Why not?
Because we might turn into swine, just like Theagenes.
Well what do you think?
What other animal?
What about this, a bummer lamb?
A bummer?
Yes, by god.
But that’s a slang expression.
Frederick William Hall (1865–1948) was a classical scholar and Fellow of St John's College, Oxford. Together with William Martin Geldart, he produced the Oxford Classical Text of several authors. Hall was a careful editor known for his thorough collation of manuscripts and his conservative approach to textual criticism.
The Hall–Geldart editions in the Oxford Classical Texts series provide reliable critical texts with selective apparatus criticus. The OCT series, established in 1894 as the Scriptorum Classicorum Bibliotheca Oxoniensis, aims to present the best available Greek and Latin texts in a format suitable for both scholarly use and teaching. Each volume provides a clean text with the most significant manuscript variants recorded at the foot of each page.
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