LEADER OF WOMEN’S CHORUS

Listen, friend. You should never raise your hand against your neighbour. If you do, then I

will have to punch you in the eye. I’d prefer to sit quietly at home, like a young girl, and not come here to injure anyone or agitate the nest, unless someone disturbs the hive and makes me angry.

O Zeus, however will we find a way to deal with these wild beasts? What’s going on is no longer something we can bear. But we must question them and find out why they are so angry with us, why they wish

to seize the citadel of Cranaus, the holy ground where people do not go, on the great rock of the Acropolis.

LEADER OF THE MEN’S CHORUS [to Magistrate]

So ask her. Don’t let them win you over. Challenge everything they say. If we left this matter without seeking out the cause that would be disgraceful.

Well then, by god, first of all I’d like to know the reason why you planned to use these barriers here to barricade our citadel.

To get your money,

so you couldn’t keep on paying for war.

Is it money that’s the cause of war?

Yes, and all the rest of the corruption. Peisander and our leading politicians

need a chance to steal. That’s the reason they’re always stirring up disturbances. Well, let the ones who wish to do this do what they want, but from this moment on they’ll get no more money.

What will you do?

You ask me that? We’ll control it.

You mean

you’re going to manage all the money?

You consider that so strange? Isn’t it true we take care of all the household money?

That’s not the same.

Why not?

We need the cash to carry on the war.

Well, first of all, there should be no fighting.

But without war how will we save ourselves?

We’ll do that.

You?

That’s right—us.

This is outrageous!

We’ll save you, even if that goes against your wishes.

What you’re saying is madness!

You’re angry,

but nonetheless we have to do it.

By Demeter, this is against the law!

My dear fellow, we have to rescue you.

And if I don’t agree?

Then our reasons are that much more persuasive.

Is it true you’re really going to deal with peace and war?

We’re going to speak to that.

Then speak fast, or else you may well start to cry.

Then listen— and try to keep your fists controlled.

I can’t. I find it difficult to hold my temper.

LEADER OF WOMEN’S CHORUS

It’s more likely you’re the one who’ll weep.

Shut up your croaking, you old bag.

You—talk to me.

I’ll do that. Up to now through this long war we kept silent about all those things you men were doing. We were being modest. And you did not allow us to speak up, although we were not happy. But still, we listened faithfully to you, and often

My dear fellow, we have to rescue you.

And if I don’t agree?

Then our reasons are that much more persuasive.

Is it true you’re really going to deal with peace and war?

We’re going to speak to that.

Then speak fast, or else you may well start to cry.

Then listen— and try to keep your fists controlled.

I can’t. I find it difficult to hold my temper.

LEADER OF WOMEN’S CHORUS

It’s more likely you’re the one who’ll weep.

Shut up your croaking, you old bag.

You—talk to me.

I’ll do that. Up to now through this long war we kept silent about all those things you men were doing. We were being modest. And you did not allow us to speak up, although we were not happy. But still, we listened faithfully to you, and often

inside the house we heard your wretched plans for some great deed. And if we ached inside,

we’d force a smile and simply ask, “Today in the assembly did the men propose a treaty carved in stone decreeing peace?” But our husbands said, “Is that your business? Why don’t you shut up?” And I’d stay silent.

I’d not have kept my mouth shut.

You’d have been smacked if you hadn’t been quiet and held your tongue.

So there I am at home, saying nothing. Then you’d tell us of another project, even stupider than before. We’d say,

“How can you carry out a scheme like that? It’s foolish.” Immediately he’d frown and say to me, “If you don’t spin your thread, you’ll get a major beating on your head.

War is men’s concern.”

Yes, by god! That man spoke the truth.

You idiot! Is that sensible—not to take advice when what you’re proposing is so silly? Then we heard you speaking in the streets, asking openly, “Are there any men

still left here in our land?” and someone said, “By god, there’s no one.” Well then, after that it seemed to us we had to rescue Greece by bringing wives into a single group with one shared aim. Why should we delay? If you’d like to hear us give some good advice, then start to listen, keep your mouths quite shut, the way we did. We’ll save you from yourselves.

You’ll save us? What you’re saying is madness. I’m not going to put up with it!

Shut up!

Should I shut up for you, you witch, someone

with a scarf around her head? I’d sooner die!

If this scarf of mine really bothers you, take it and wrap it round your head. Here!

Now keep quiet!

And take this basket, too!

Now put on a waist band, comb out wool, and chew some beans. This business of the war we women will take care of.

LEADER OF WOMEN’S CHORUS

Come on, women, get up and leave those jars. It’s our turn now

to join together with our friends.

WOMEN’S CHORUS

With dancing I’ll never tire weariness won’t grip my knees or wear me out. In everything I’ll strive to match the excellence of these women here—in nature, wisdom, boldness, charm, and prudent virtue in the way they love their native land.

LEADER OF WOMEN’S CHORUS

You grandchildren of the bravest women, sprung from fruitful stinging nettles,

let your passion drive you forward and do not hesitate, for now you’ve got the winds of fortune at your back.

O Aphrodite born on Cyprus and, you, sweet passionate Eros, breathe sexual longing on our breasts and thighs and fill our men with tortuous desire and make their pricks erect. If so, I think we’ll win ourselves a name among the Greeks as those who brought an end to warfare.

What will you do?

For a start, we’ll stop you men hanging around the market place armed with spears and acting up like fools.

Yes, that’s right, by Paphian Aphrodite!

Right now in the market they stroll around among the pots and vegetables, fully armed, like Corybantes.

Yes, that’s right— it’s what brave men should do.

It looks so silly— going off to purchase tiny little birds while carrying a Gorgon shield.

By god,

I myself saw a cavalry commander— he had long hair and was on horseback— pouring out some pudding he’d just bought from an old woman into his helmet. Another Thracian was waving his spear and his shield, as well, just like Tereus, and terrifying the woman selling figs while gobbling down the ripest ones she had.

And how will you find the power to stop so many violent disturbances

throughout our states and then resolve them?

Very easily.

But how? Explain that.

It’s like a bunch of yarn. When it’s tangled, we take it and pass it through the spindle back and forth—that’s how we’ll end the war, if people let us try, by sending out

ambassadors here and there, back and forth.

You’re an idiot! Do you really think you can end such fearful acts with spindles, spools, and wool?

If you had any common sense,

you’d deal with everything the way we do when we handle yarn.

What does that mean? Tell me.

First of all, just as we wash wool in a rinsing tub to remove the dirt, you have to lay the city on a bed, beat out the rascals, and then drive away the thorns and break apart the groups of men who join up together in their factions seeking public office—pluck out their heads. Then into a common basket of good will

comb out the wool, the entire compound mix, including foreigners, guests, and allies,

anyone useful to the public good. Bundle them together. As for those cities which are colonies of this land, by god, you must see that, as far as we’re concerned, each is a separate skein. From all of them, take a piece of wool and bring it here. Roll them together into a single thing. Then you’ll have made one mighty ball of wool,

from which the public then must weave its clothes.

So women beat wool and roll it in balls! Isn’t that wonderful? That doesn’t mean they bear any part of what goes on in war.

You damned fool, of course it does—we endure more than twice as much as you. First of all, we bear children and then send them off to serve as soldiers.

All right, be quiet.

Don’t remind me of all that.

And then, when we should be having a good time,

enjoying our youth, we have to sleep alone because our men are in the army. Setting us aside, it distresses me that young unmarried girls are growing old alone in their own homes.

Don’t men get old?

By god, that’s not the same at all. For men, even old ones with white hair, can come back and quickly marry some young girl. For women time soon runs out. If they don’t seize their chance, no one wants to marry them—they sit there

waiting for an oracle.

But an old man who can still get his prick erect . . .

O you— why not learn your lesson and just die? It’s time.

Don’t remind me of all that.

And then, when we should be having a good time,

enjoying our youth, we have to sleep alone because our men are in the army. Setting us aside, it distresses me that young unmarried girls are growing old alone in their own homes.

Don’t men get old?

By god, that’s not the same at all. For men, even old ones with white hair, can come back and quickly marry some young girl. For women time soon runs out. If they don’t seize their chance, no one wants to marry them—they sit there

waiting for an oracle.

But an old man who can still get his prick erect . . .

O you— why not learn your lesson and just die? It’s time.

Buy a funeral urn. I’ll prepare the dough for honey cakes. Take this wreath.

This one, too— it’s from me!

Here, take this garland!

Well now, what do you need? What are you waiting for? Step aboard the boat. Charon’s calling you. You’re preventing him from casting off.

I don’t have to put up with these insults!

I’ll go to the other magistrates, by god, and show myself exactly as I am!